If I Loved You
by Javanyet
Summary: Episode 4 in the 'Standards' series. Thoughts of Miles and Keiko's upcoming wedding have Data revisiting memories and considering possibilities. Meanwhile Leo questions her longheld beliefs. Complete. The story, not the series! Much more to come.
1. Now and then

_if I loved you  
time and again I would try to say  
all I'd want you to know..._

"Mmmf."

Data was distracted from his work as Leo rolled over in her sleep and laid her head against his hip, one hand falling against his knee. It was a variation on an oft-repeated theme on the many nights he would sit up in bed processing hundreds of scientific logs and collected data from the Enterprise's endless ongoing research projects as Leo lay sleeping next to him. Since she'd moved into his quarters he had accommodated her presence with a wider and more comfortable bed, and other things that had of course never been necessary for his own comfort. A small cushy sofa and two armchairs, plus another work unit for her computer station had turned his quarters from something of a work-and-waiting area (and an occasional poker parlor) into a home. Leo had brought so little with her to the 24th century that finding room for her books and few other keepsakes was quite easy. Her primitive cd's had already been downloaded into the ship's computer and aside from her beloved tiger striped pajamas – Data had replicated three more sets for her though she still clung resolutely to the originals – there was little else to make room for. It had been an odd but not unpleasant adjustment to have someone sharing his living space, someone to talk to who could actually talk back rather than meow and purr. Though Data did discover that Leo occasionally indulged in the latter when provided with sufficient stimulus, much to Spot's obvious chagrin.

Leo murmured again quietly and her head pressed a little closer against him. Upon checking his internal chronometer Data recognized it was nearly 3am. Though his positronic capabilities allowed him to process digital information at stunning speed, the sheer volume and varied detail of the information in the ship's scientific logs sometimes demanded a bit more attention and analysis. He had been working on this batch for some time now, and decided the rest could wait. After disconnecting the dataport device and replacing his scalp plate Data stretched out next to Leo and, careful not to wake her, slipped his arms around her. She snuggled closer against him, settling her head in the hollow of his shoulder, this time not making a sound. He was attuned enough to her physical signals of heartbeat, pulse and respiration to know this was not one of the times when she was inviting more intimate interaction, so Data simply held her as he set about his usual habit of running light fingers here and there to enjoy her physical presence. He never tired of these delicate explorations, memorizing her substance in every way imaginable as this texture was paired with that response. It was something he welcomed as much as Leo did his more passionate attentions. When they made love her physical responses made him that much more eager to give her pleasure so he could experience the changes in temperature and movement, the variety and volume of the sounds she made allowing him to gauge his ability to make her feel in a physical sense what he could not find the analog for in human emotion.

Keiko and Miles were due to be married the day after tomorrow, now that Data's awkward efforts as go-between had managed to sort out all the miscommunications he'd been prey to. Though he'd been glad to help his friends, of course, he was puzzled why they chose him to communicate such complex emotional issues as were involved here. In the end he was simply gratified to be trusted so completely, and greatly relieved when matters were settled to everyone's satisfaction. Leo had seemed particularly pleased with his willingness to become involved in such unfamiliar interactions and delighted when the temporary difficulties were resolved.

"See, what did I tell you, just because organic emotion isn't your native language doesn't mean you can't learn to communicate," she'd told him when he related the news that the wedding was "on". She persisted in encouraging Data to consider his lack of what she termed "organic emotion" not as a defect to be corrected but as something for which he already possessed an analog that simply needed to be accessed and refined. He acknowledged that since her arrival on the Enterprise and their continued close contact he had found it increasingly easy to access such an analog in their particular relationship. The first time Leo had told him of her feelings for him, struggling with her own "organic" indecision, was for him the first fully realized and successful effort on his part to access that analog. Knowing his parameters (that, at least, was a term she was willing to accept) and unable to lie, Data's need to express Leo's significance in his life triggered an inspiration as simple as it was honest.

They'd been walking in the holodeck, where she'd somewhat hesitantly come to accept Data's varied programs of 21st century American locales as "as real as it's gonna get, I guess." That particular night he'd recreated the woods where she'd lived, complete with full moon and night sounds, knowing she'd enjoyed such walks and hoping to cheer the vague, periodic melancholy she could never quite conceal from him. Leo had paused in a clearing by Data's re-creation of the riverbank he'd heard her describe. She'd smiled, not quite understanding he'd been doing these things not to impress her but to help alleviate her occasional bouts of homesickness for her own century.

"I'm impressed with your powers of perception, I don't remember talking too much about this."

"I did not wish to 'impress' you. I wished to, cheer you up?"

Leo turned and, still not quite absorbing his hopeful expression, told him, "I'm not so sad, Data, just a little adjustment anxiety. I'm still not sure where I belong in all this. But you're sweet to do it." Six months into her assignment to the Enterprise, she was adjusting well and didn't get overly distracted by her lapses into homesickness. Data, of course, by nature paid equal attention to everything and could not be dissuaded from his attempts to alleviate them.

_She still does not understand my motivation_, he thought to himself. He took a step closer, and looked closely into her eyes. "I did not do this to be 'sweet', or to impress you with my powers of perception. It does not matter that you are 'not so sad', Leo. I wish you not to be sad at all. Your friendship and your presence here has led to an improvement in my perception of my potential to become a better… inorganic person. It is easier to become who I wish to be when there is someone here who believes I can. I wish to do the same for you, as far as I am able. I wish to help you 'belong' here."

Finally it clicked. She'd thought of these periodic "outings" as entertainment, simple diversions for her off-duty time like going to the movies or out for a drink. Stupid, stupid, what he was doing was trying to soothe her feelings of dislocation (and it was going to be a long time, she realized, before they went away entirely) with a little familiarity, something to get her over the rough spots. Data wanted Leo to know she belonged in this time and place, it was something he believed as completely as she believed that he was capable of fully connecting with the humans he cared so much for. She slapped herself on the forehead, "God, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry."

As he'd done before Data grasped her wrist to stop her, admonishing, "You must not do that, you will hurt yourself," and she reached up – as she'd done before – with her free hand to pull his mouth to hers. It wasn't the first kiss they'd shared since her arrival, but this time felt different to both of them. When Data lifted his head, arms still around her, Leo looked up at him and told him almost shyly, "Remember that night when I asked you what if I love you, what then? Well guess what, I love you," she announced it as if the realization had ambushed her even if they both knew it was no surprise. "What now?"

Data couldn't fail to remember the promise he'd made to Leo when, exhausted and confused, she'd first posed that question. But the words "I would love you if I could" seemed to him hollow and vastly inaccurate, so instead after a nanosecond of consideration he replied quietly, "And I would love no other."

"I'll bet you say that to all the time-jumping humanoid females," she smiled up at him. A doubtful look shadowed his face and she hastened to add, "Smartass, D, smartass," before reaching up to kiss him again. When Data saw Leo to her quarters it was still early, barely 2000. She invited him in as always, but once the door slid shut her demeanor appeared to Data to be a bit awkward.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all, it's just…" Leo floundered. No man she'd ever been with – though there hadn't exactly been a huge roster – had required specific notification of romantic intentions. This one had _requested_ them. He stood waiting for her to finish explaining, so she went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, reached up and scattered kisses on his face and temple, under his ear, and finally his mouth. Surely her increased heartbeat, respiration, and temperature was evident? She felt like a slut and a prude simultaneously. She was willing to climb all over Data to get her point across, but utterly unable to verbalize it. When he broke the kiss and looked her in the eye she asked, feeling like a complete dork, "Are these non-verbal signals too subtle?" She ran her hands down his back and, going for broke, gave him a light two-handed goose to punctuate.

Data's eyes widened a fraction. He hadn't imagined Leo's transition from close friendship to intimate physical interest would be quite so abrupt. Naturally he'd expected some discussion, perhaps weighing the pro's and con's. After all, she was human and the "organic emotions" he could not answer in kind would naturally raise questions. He knew Leo quite well enough to know she was not interested in his sexual programming and subroutines for their own sake. Perhaps he was over-analyzing. Leo certainly knew him and his nature as well as he knew hers. In that respect they had been on equal footing for some time.

"They are not," he answered finally.

"Oh good, I'm not really up to a precise invitation."

Even as she retrieved one of his hands from her shoulder to run her mouth (_warm, moist, fragile, as if her lips were layered with flower petals or silk_) over the palm and inner wrist, Data was aware of an unsteadiness that had been evident in her voice, something less than indecision but an uncertain quality that could not be classified as the breathlessness of passion. Carefully, so she would not misunderstand, he closed his hand on hers to slow her down and focus her attention.

"Leo, your intentions are clear, and I find them most agreeable. But you must tell me. Something is troubling you. If we are to become joined more completely, you must not withhold your related uncertainties from me. I have not withheld mine from you." She didn't answer at first. "You do not need to fear I will hurt you. My sexual subroutines prohibit inflicting pain, as my general programming prohibits killing humans. And there is no risk of defaulting to self-defense mode."

Now she stepped back from him. "No, god no, I'm not afraid of you, never. It's not that."

Data waited. He understood that initiating sexual intimacy in a previously platonic relationship involved a variety of often conflicting emotions in humans, even if he couldn't grasp their weight specifically.

Why am I acting like I such an _idiot_, Leo thought to herself. She knew she _could_ tell him anything. "Well, it's just that something Geordi told me keeps popping into my head."

Now he _was_ surprised. "Geordi? Have you consulted him regarding the potential sexual aspect of our relationship?"

Leo flopped on the sofa, realizing the "moment" was lost, and explained as Data joined her, "No not like that. But you remember when he came to the Academy and you introduced us, you were called away to a subspace com from the captain."

Still perplexed, he asked, "And at that time you inquired about my sexual programming and subroutines?"

He was absolutely guileless, and this mortified Leo more than anything. "_No_, for christsake, what do you think I am?" Another ridiculous question. She continued before Data could reply. "Geordi was telling me how you'd told him about me, and he was glad you'd met someone who took you as you are and saw you as a complete person, positronics be damned." Data opened his mouth as if to speak, and thought better of it.

"Continue."

"He told me about all the people you'd met that you'd have liked to get to know better but they couldn't get beyond your being an android, for whatever reason, they saw you as a curiosity or a ready source of technical info, not as a man. And he told me about some women who, well, who can't get beyond the fact that you're a 'fully functional' android and only see you as, well, as,"

"A sex object? A love toy? An interactive vibrator?"

"_Okay, I see you get the point!_" she exploded.

Ignoring the vehemence of Leo's outburst, Data assured her, "I am fully aware that your interest in me always has been as a complete being. I am also fully familiar with your character and your intentions. There is no need to be concerned that I might misunderstand."

Now Leo ran her hands over her face. "No, Data, it's not that either. Not exactly anyway."

Out of options regarding what Leo's issue might be, Data waited patiently for clarification.

"It's like this." She faced him now, determined to make herself understood. "From the start I've known that an analog to the organic emotions in humans exists in your makeup and programming, it's just interpreted and expressed differently. But… _sensory_ experience, that's another story. Oh, I know you're able to record and analyze through tactile inputs. Texture, and temperature, like organic senses only much more fine tuned. But there's another aspect for humans…"

Data was able to help her out this time. "Pleasure stimulus. My positronic 'brain' is designed for analysis, and unlike humans lacks a pleasure center."

Leo nodded. "See, I touch you here," and she put a hand on his shoulder, "and when I touch you here," she placed her other hand on his groin, "there's no difference at all." She withdrew both hands and sat back. "I don't give a goddamn how sophisticated or varied or _exotic_ your sexual subroutines are. I'll feel the connection, I'll feel the pleasure, because it's you. But I'll feel it not just in emotion, I'll feel it in sensation as well. But you won't." She tried not to frown. "How will I ever not feel like I'm using you for myself, and giving nothing back? No matter how much I want it to be different, I'll feel everything, and you'll feel nothing. It's just so one-sided, no matter how much I want you that way I'm afraid it'll always seem _wrong_."

Data continued to regard Leo silently for a minute or two. When he finally spoke, the tone of his voice reflected the same puzzlement evident whenever he was confronted with an unexpected lapse in logic. "I find it curious that your belief in my analogous capabilities is confined to the concept of emotion." He reached for her hand and held it lightly in his own. "When I do this," he ran a fingertip delicately up her inner forearm and she shivered. "You experience texture, temperature, direction and duration, and an additional response that you define as 'pleasure'. I also perceive those first four sensory messages." Leo wanted to protest yes, see, I'm right, but he shushed her with a finger against her lips that pressed lightly before tracing the edge of her cheek. "I also perceive something in addition. Changes in your heartbeat, respiration, muscular response beneath skin, surface and inner changes in infinite variation."

She thought she understood. "But they're _mine_, not yours."

He shook his head. "You are wrong. They are mine also," he leaned closer to kiss her under the ear, and her breath hitched, "because I engendered them." She was staring wide-eyed at him. "When I give you pleasure, it is mine as well. Your responses will enhance my sensory input. As with human emotion, the distinction is only in definition."

"Do you really mean that? I mean, you're not just trying to make me feel better?" She was convinced when Data's expression turned slightly disapproving.

"Leora Eileen," he reminded her, "I am incapable of lying."

"But you said you'd have a hard time with subtle non-verbal signals, how do I let you know when…"

"I believe we have established that your non-verbal signals are sufficiently non-subtle to avoid misunderstanding."

Leo smiled slyly at his not-very veiled humor. "You mean like this," she moved into his lap and ran her fingers inside the collar of his uniform. So he didn't shiver like she did. So what?

"Correct. Such an action is difficult to misinterpret," he stood with her in his arms. "I do not have duty until 0700. Do you have an engagement this evening?"

"I think I do now."

As Data carried her into the bedroom he told Leo earnestly, "You must tell me if I am behaving too selfishly."

Given what he'd just told her? Oh lord… "I'll do my best."

Now, several months later, the memory of their first physical union and its impact on their relationship replayed in Data's mind. It had been, he knew, a significant leap of faith for Leo and one that had turned out to be both justified and positive for them both. Concurrently with these thoughts came those of Miles and Keiko's impending nuptials. As often happened in Data's positronic processes a connection was made, which led to a synthesis of further reflection. It was possible, Data mused as the sleeping Leo mumbled and snuggled against him, that the time had arrived to consider a further leap of faith.


	2. Goin' to the chapel

"D, help me? I can't reach!"

Leo grabbed Data as he was headed out the door. He was worried about being late for Keiko and Miles' wedding, being honored to give away the bride, but as always he'd programmed in a (huge) cushion of just-in-case time. Leo knew there was some available to invest in her current difficulty.

"Leo, I must report to the holodeck, or,"

"Or you'll only be_ half_ an hour early! " She turned her back to him. "C'mon, you told me when we first met you'd done the give-the-bride-away thing before, how much advance time could you need? Just button me up, will you, then you can take off and be there before even the bride, okay?"

"I do not require 'advance time'. It is considered good manners to arrive in a timely fashion."

Leo turned to face him with a light laugh. "Bullshit. You're nervous. About what I can't imagine."

"I am incapable of being 'nervous'," Data reminded her, and added before she could repeat her favorite expression of disagreement, "And the other wedding I took part in was that of a member of the engineering crew. I undertook the responsibility as a favor; the bride's father was unexpectedly prevented from attending. This occasion is quite different."

"Yada, yada, I know you wanna be there before anyone else so you can trace your steps from the bride room door to the podium. _Counting_ them, even. Just relax, D, you are helping your friends get married. Human social interaction notwithstanding, there's no way you can screw it up."

Data's eyebrows were arched slightly as he listened with exaggerated patience. "Shall I 'button you up' now, or have you other personal insights you wish to share?"

"Pfflllltth," she blew a raspberry at him, and turned her back again.

If an android could sigh, Data would have done so. Instead he did as Leo asked, nimbly fastening each one of 24 buttons into their silken loops from the base of her spine to the nape of her neck. "I do not understand why conventional fastenings were not sufficient for your purpose."

"Because," she declared over her shoulder at him. It was an oft-repeated "reason" for everything from requiring direct-heat rings for cooking non-replicated food to her attachment to her tiger-striped pajamas.

"That is not an answer," Data responded, as always.

Leo shot back, "Well it's the only one you're gonna get." As always. Now Leo turned to face Data, adding an additional revolution to spin her skirt out around her. She wore a panné velvet gown of deep mahogany brown she had replicated (having finally caved in to the inevitable) according to "real" specs… no cutting corners. It featured a draped neckline and fitted sleeves in addition to the floor-length bias cut skirt. "So do you think the captain will get over it? Captain Picard had not been inclined to relax his formal-uniform preference for the wedding ceremony in her case.

"_Lieutenant, I am presiding over this wedding as the commander of the Enterprise. In fact that is the only reason I am authorized to do so. Formal uniform is the accepted attire for bridge personnel."_

_"But I'm not on duty then!" Leo was bloody well sick and tired of wearing nothing but Federation issue uniform and off-duty couture. Though she hadn't ever been a slave to fashion, she was dying to wear something different and perhaps – Omigod – elegant to the wedding. Even if Data was willing to comply with regulations she was more than willing to bitch about them. "Please, captain-boss-Massa-sir, I promise it will be appropriate to the occasion, and I swear it'll even match Data's tightass-regulation uniform." She hated that "baby shit yellow" color that designated Engineering, but knew she'd at least managed to harmonize the color of her dress so they wouldn't clash hideously._

_Picard rolled his eyes. He knew that other off-duty personnel would be dressed according to their own formal tastes, but he had imagined that his immediate staff might follow Starfleet protocol. Silly me, he thought to himself, and acquiesced in an indulgent tone, "Very well, Lieutenant. I will trust your judgment. At my peril."_

Now Data regarded Leo with an approving smile. "I think the captain will 'get over it'. Your attire is _quite _satisfactory."

Leo laughed and gave Data a kiss. "Sweet talker. You'll turn my head if you're not careful." She was momentarily disappointed that Data didn't have a tie she could straighten, or lapels she could smooth with affectionate attention. "And you look, well, _very_ regulation. I'll see you there."

"Geordi will be accompanying you?"

"Yeah. He needed a date, and since you're all official and stuff..." she teased. She'd been giving him a hard time about her having to be a "father-of-the-bride widow".

With characteristic patience Data assured her, "I have already promised I will dance with you at the celebration following the ceremony."

"Well if you _don't_ I know a few who will." Reg Barkley, for one, and the captain for another. In fact she'd made him promise her a dance.

"_I seldom dance, Lieutenant."_

"_It won't kill you. I promise not to do anything socially unacceptable."_

"_I appreciate your flexibility."_

"Wait!" Leo called as Data turned to leave again. "Don't forget your flower!" She took the small white chrysanthemum, tied with a tiny white ribbon, from the side table and beckoned Data, "I'll put it on." She pinned it carefully to his uniform near his collar then stepped back. He really did look very handsome in formal uniform, the loathsome color notwithstanding. Data looked down at the boutonnière and then scanned himself to his feet. "Is my appearance satisfactory?"

"You take my breath away." She meant every word. "Do you think I should do something with my hair?" He didn't look as if he understood the question. "I mean put it up or something special?"

Data ran a hand through her bangs and along the side of her head, sweeping her medium-length hair over her shoulder. "I believe it requires no further attention. The color is quite striking against your dress." She didn't miss the way his fingers lingered on her shoulder. Some guys were pure grope artists, some were smooch hounds, her guy was a tactile junkie for whom "copping a feel" had a whole different meaning. He gave her head a final stroke with light fingertips and added in a more intimate voice, "It is already 'special'." Data _was_ a real sweet talker in his own unique way, and Leo had realized it some time ago.

"Well you can't tell me that without getting this," Leo stood on tiptoe to kiss him lightly. "Okay, Commander, get going or you won't be early enough."

Data responded with his version of an exasperated smirk, then tightened an arm around her. "Smartass," he scolded with a faux scowl, and kissed her rather more thoroughly before proceeding to the holodeck at a very brisk pace.

Leo checked herself before the full length mirror in the bedroom. She was glad she'd brought some of her jewelry "forward in time" with her, because her carnelian rings, bracelets, and necklace looked smashing with the dress. She'd finished putting on her lipstick (thank god they still used the stuff nowadays) when the door chimed.

"Pssst," she heard Geordi's exaggerated whisper through the door comlink, "it's me… is your boyfriend gone?" Knowing the door was unlocked Geordi entered without waiting for Leo to open it. "Wow! Not bad for an _old_ lady."

"Ha, ha. You don't know what I had to go through to be allowed to dress like a regular person."

"Well I sure know what the _captain_ went through…" Geordi snickered. "No, really, you look fantastic. Data is one lucky guy."

Even as he said it, and even as Leo knew Data would agree, she couldn't help gauging the distance between "fantastic" and "satisfactory". Sometimes analogs left her feeling just a tiny bit lacking, not least because she knew how Data would have liked to offer her more. And he did, really, more often than not. She was pulled back to reality as Geordi extended his arm.

"C'mon, Lieutenant, let's go witness Keiko and Miles take the leap."

As the turbolift took them to the holodeck level Geordi asked Leo, "Do ever think about it? About you and Data making it official?"

Leo shrugged in what she hoped was an offhand fashion. The fact was she'd thought about it more than once since Keiko announced her engagement. It's not that Leo felt that she and Data weren't "permanent" as they were; even after so short a time their commitment to each other was unquestionable. For her own part, she could no more consider life without him than she could consider giving up breathing. She just didn't figure being "official" would matter to him all that much. Some small doubt nagged inside, that engaging in such an undeniably romantic tradition might upset the equilibrium she'd established between "organic and inorganic". On the other hand the common sense part of her knew that was bullshit. They were, at the end of the day, no more or less at odds with one another's natures than any other couple. Any couple had differences: background, upbringing, religion, whatever. Nobody was matched exactly, but it was where they did match that was important. Hers and Data's differences were just a little more, well, unconventional than most. And where they matched made all other considerations moot.

"Not really. I mean, what would it change between us?" That question was exactly the one that Leo couldn't shake, and it had nothing to do with questions of positronics or organic emotion. It was the question that always entered her mind when she heard anyone was getting married. It just didn't seem worth the labor-intensiveness of the event given it didn't really change a thing. Marriage couldn't make a lousy relationship good, and it wouldn't make a good one better. She didn't have time to consider it further as the turbolift doors slid open on the corridor that led to Holodeck 1. Beverly and Deanna had decorated this section with white flowers and swags of pale yellow silk.

"At least I can't get lost," Leo cracked, "I'll just follow the decorations." Even after ten months aboard she sometimes had trouble navigating the ship, much to her crewmates' amusement. Not to mention the captain, who on the few occasions she rushed in late for duty would comment drily, "Lieutenant, so good of you to come. Did the birds eat your breadcrumbs again?"

Leo took Geordi's arm again and cut a glance at him as they entered the holodeck. He really was a remarkably great guy, she thought, and wondered, all things being equal, if she'd met him first and not Data how things would have progressed

Most of the guests were already assembled, and Leo could see Miles standing (nervously, of course) with the captain at one end of the lushly ornamented room.

"Over here!" Will called from where he and Deanna, Worf and Reg were standing. Beverly and Guinan were elsewhere helping Keiko get ready. With the exception of Deanna, who wore a gorgeous flowing dress of deep blue, the others were in formal uniform.

"What a handsome couple you make," Will teased.

"Don't say that too loudly," Geordi warned him. "I don't need an android gunning for me."

Reg was confused. "Well it's not as if Data can get jealous."

The others looked at him disapprovingly. "Data's been discovering all sorts of new potential since he and Leo got together," Geordi reminded him. "I'm not about to press my luck!"

Realizing his faux pas, Reg shifted awkwardly and told Leo, "Just kidding, really."

"That's okay, Reg. We all think with our mouth sometimes."

Japanese music began, and the guests became quiet and turned their attention to a side "door" (of course everything on the holodeck but the people was artificially generated) as Keiko entered on Data's arm. She was dressed in traditional Japanese wedding attire, and looked as much like an angel as Leo figured she'd ever see. And Data looked every inch the proud "father of the bride". Leo couldn't keep from staring, and not just at Keiko.

"Data is a handsome devil, isn't he?" Beverly whispered in Leo's ear. She and Guinan had returned from the dressing room just in time.

"Yeah, he does spiff up real nice.' Data was so absolutely consistent in physical appearance, unlike humans who could be rumpled, bleary-eyed, or just plain scruffy, that Leo was always taken by surprise in those moments she looked at him and found herself at a complete loss. It could be seeing him at his science station as she left the ready room, or coming home to their quarters to find him reading, or when she noticed him watching _her_ with a contemplative expression that revealed more than an android should be able to manage. And his smile, if anything about him came close to transcending her infamous "analog theory" and expressing true emotion it was that smile. It was different for her than for anyone else, she was certain of it. She felt Beverly's hand slip through her arm as the doctor leaned closer.

"I used to look at Jack the way Keiko looks at Miles," Leo smiled and nodded, then Beverly added, "and the way you look at Data. Don't think I haven't seen him look that way at you. Positronics be damned, you can label it any way you want, you two belong together."

"We _are_ together," Leo whispered over her shoulder as Data handed Keiko to Miles and they faced the captain.

Beverly squeezed Leo's arm, "You _know_ what I mean." Then the captain began his address and Beverly released Leo's arm as they watched the rest of the ceremony. Cheers and applause filled the holodeck after the captain announced the couple. And despite Leo's insistence that marriage was redundant, despite never before in her life imagining facing _anybody _"until death do us part", despite her unshakeable knowledge that she and Data could never be more "together"… she knew exactly what Beverly meant, and couldn't help wondering if Data might know it as well.


	3. Party favors

Leo, Beverly and the others worked their way to the rather short "receiving line" comprised only of Miles, Keiko, Data and the captain (who stood somewhat awkwardly a few feet to the side). It seemed rather silly but Keiko had insisted it would be easier to get all the hugs and kisses out of the way at once and have the rest of the evening left to party. After Will nearly crushed Keiko and gave Miles a manly handshake and slap on the shoulder he asked Data, "So some of us are wondering when this wayward woman here," he indicated Leo, who stood just behind him in line, "is gonna make an honest android of you." Leo almost dropped where she stood.

Data blinked once or twice and replied, "I am already an 'honest android'." Desperately embarrassed, Leo caught the captain's eye.

"Permission to shut up the First Officer, sir?"

Picard answered with a grave nod. "Permission granted, Lieutenant. By any and all means necessary."

Leo yanked on the back of Will's uniform. "Commander, _shut up_. This is a wedding, not an occasion to explore the matrimonial domino theory."

Data caught on. "Ah, you are inquiring when Leo might propose marriage to me. We have not discussed this matter." He looked thoughtful, and turned to the captain, "Is it a matter of concern that Lt. O'Reilly and I cohabit without benefit of matrimony?"

By now Leo had her face buried in her hands and was muttering, "_Somebody_ get me a phaser, will you?" The day was saved when Geordi called out, "Hey, who's holding up the line? Move it along!"

"Well excuse me," Will complained half to himself, "I didn't know it was such a touchy issue…"

"_Shut up_ Will," Deanna cut around Leo to give him a shove.

"Fine. Shutting up by popular demand," Will headed rather grumpily to the bar, where real champagne was available per the wedding couple's express request.

"Congratulations Keiko," Leo embraced her warmly, careful not to knock off her elaborate headdress. "If you can keep this bog-trotter in line you're a better woman than I am."

"I beg your pardon?" Miles challenged Leo, but she disarmed him with a hug and kiss.

"Speaking as a fellow descendant of God's True Chosen People and a certified Bog-Trotter, allow me to declare you the luckiest man on board," Leo announced.

Miles bent to kiss Leo's cheek and whispered in her ear, "The feller standing next to me might disagree," and tipped a wink in Data's direction, giving Leo a gentle shove toward him.

"D, you did great, there was nothing to worry about, I told you so." Leo told Data with a bit more gush than she'd intended. He stunned her by kissing her cheek and responding, "Yes, dear."

Miles exploded with laughter. "Well you've got _that_ bit down right!"

"Now I wonder where _that_ came from…" Leo shot a sidelong glance at Miles, whose look of childlike innocence was matched nuance for nuance by Data. "God, men are men _such_ a pain in the ass, organic or positronic."

"Take care whom you include in that statement, Lieutenant," the captain warned. Leo left the "wedding trio" and went to where Picard had moved still farther away. "I'm not really part of that happy family," he explained.

"Of course you are, captain. You might even say that in Starfleet terms you're the father of us all," Leo grinned.

Picard gave an exaggerated shudder. "Don't wish _that_ one on me, I beg you." Now he smiled broadly as he took Leo's hand and turned her in a spin in front of him. "I asked myself earlier who _is_ that stunning young woman entering with Commander La Forge. How delightful to discover she's my own administrative executive officer."

Leo offered a combination smile and smirk. "If that's your way of apologizing for being so difficult about wedding attire, I accept."

"My, my, in no time at all you've threatened to shoot Number One, verbally insulted several senior officers, and now you're flirting with insubordination. All _without_ benefit of champagne."

"And the party's just begun," Leo observed slyly. She paused before running off to join Will (to assure him no offense taken) and some of the others as the captain called to her, "Leo?"

"Sir?"

He put a hand on her arm and leaned in conspiratorially. "I'm glad you're on _my_ side. Do let me know if that changes."

She stood at attention. "Two minute warning, sir, I promise."

When Leo caught up to Will he spoke first. "Look I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I was just kidding around."

"That's okay. I've just been getting more opinions regarding my private life than I'm used to listening to. Which would mean anything above zero."

"Well you must know by now the senior staff doesn't hold back when it comes to stuff like that. We're all over each other's lives. Guess we feel we've earned the right after all we've been through."

"I know what you're saying, Will, but I haven't been here long enough to qualify for that privilege." She took the glass of champagne he handed her after grabbing two from a passing waiter.

"_Data_ has. When you got 'involved' with him you inherited the rest of us by default as much more than crewmates. I'm not sure you're gonna have any choice but to adjust."

He wasn't challenging her, she knew. And he was right. She was the one who had stepped into their circle. In the end she shrugged. "It's not that big a deal. Sorry if I sounded like a bitch."

"Nah. No more than usual, anyway," and he hugged an arm around her to show he was kidding. "Like it or not, you're part of the family. You can come along quietly or be dragged along kicking and screaming. It's up to you. You _could _do worse, by the way."

Giving up, Leo laughed. "Now how can I turn down such a warm and sincere invitation?" She clinked her glass against Will's, "Here's to the 'family'."

"I'll drink to that." They both knocked back the champagne as if it were a shot of scotch. "Oops, I think I'm being summoned." Leo followed his smiling gaze to see Deanna motioning to him and then to the dance floor.

"Go on, I think she means business."

"You have no idea," Will laughed as he left to follow Deanna to the dance floor.

Leo watched Data dance with Keiko for a couple of songs, then hand her over to Miles before joining Worf and Reg near the bar. She felt no great need to rush to his side, and it felt good to realize that. She was well past the clingy stage, if ever she'd been there.

"I believe I promised you a dance, Lieutenant?" Captain Picard had appeared from nowhere.

"I didn't think you'd pay up. And please, this is a party, call me Leo."

"I always keep my promises, Leo. And for the next hour or so, I invite you to address me as Jean-Luc."

"I'd be honored, Jean-Luc." It felt uncomfortable to be using his first name, so she added, "Sir."

When he'd led her to the dance floor and begun to lead her in a slow waltz Leo felt far more self-conscious than she had when she'd exacted the promise from him. They'd begun to find a comfort level with one another in their day-to-day work, and certainly his dry sense of humor proved he wasn't the stuffy sort she'd first expected. Still it was a little weird to be practically cheek-to-cheek with her commanding officer.

"Relax, Leo, pretend we've just met at the Admiral's ball, and you're feeling sorry for an old gentleman who arrived alone."

This surprised her, and it showed.

"Surely you didn't think I was devoid of imagination?"

"Certainly not, it's just that my talk is sometimes bolder than my intentions, if you know what I mean. And by the way you're not old. In fact I shouldn't even be dancing with you because you're far too young for me." She was beginning to feel more at ease, and they moved more smoothly as one tune led into another. Data's lessons were standing her in good stead. Picard seemed on the verge of speaking, but uncertain about it.

"You have my permission to speak freely," Leo quipped.

"Would it be inappropriate of me to inquire how you're adjusting to life here in the 24th century? Not just your post, our work together makes it obvious that all things considered you're making good progress."

"Not just me, I think. You're doing remarkably well for someone who wanted me gone before I arrived."

Now Picard seemed a bit caught out. "Now that's a bit harsh, I think…" but her laughter cut him off.

"Really… Jean-Luc, by now you should know I love giving you a hard time. That you put up with it makes things so much easier for me, it really cut through my nerves when I started. I'm beginning to think I might do well here."

"I won't argue with that. But you didn't answer my question."

The music had stopped and Leo took Picard's arm as he led her to one side of the room. "The answer is I'm adjusting. I don't know how to qualify that, I've never done this before. You and your crew have made it as easy as I expect it can be." She paused, then realizing she felt very comfortable talking with Picard continued, "In some ways I've found a life I'd never have known if I hadn't just shut my eyes and jumped. I already feel as if it was waiting for me even if I didn't know it. And I'd never thought of myself as needing or wanting to share every part of that with someone else, but until now it seems I just hadn't had the right person land in my lap so to speak." She lapsed into silence, wondering if she'd said too much.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to start spouting questions and advice. I'm glad you're settling in. For what it's worth and from what you've told me about yourself, it seems you've made the right decision, in all respects." He was discreet, but not at all cold. If for that reason alone, Leo found it easy to trust him.

"Thanks for the dance. I think you'd better circulate, though, or people are gonna think we're working."

"Very well, Leo. Enjoy the party."

"I already have, Jean-Luc." As he wandered off to mingle with his crew she realized that this wasn't the most natural of settings for him. She guessed that crossing the boundaries of protocol was difficult for him. He was obviously devoted to the people under his command emotionally as well as professionally, but the nature of his rank necessitated parameters that interfered with things like socializing or sharing intimate thoughts. Leo was unsure whether the captain regarded those parameters as a burden or a relief. She'd strolled aimlessly to the far end of the room that was populated by a host of unfamiliar people. Some faces she recognized vaguely, others meant nothing to her at all. She dealt with crew names, rank, and personnel files regularly but her immediate circle of colleagues (and friends) consisted mainly of her fellow bridge officers. Not that she found that unpleasant, in fact she'd grown quite attached to them already. Even the taciturn Worf, who couldn't be persuaded to call her anything but "Leora". Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the crowd, the music and activity, she slipped out one of the side doors – a real one, that led from the holodeck to the corridor. Randomly she entered the next door to her right, which led into a small meeting room dominated by a spaceport in the far wall. Standing with her hands pressed to the glass, she wondered if she'd ever get used to floating among stars she'd never dreamed existed, in a world she'd never imagined was possible.

Back in the holodeck Data had just concluded a dance with Beverly Crusher. "You've developed into quite a dancer," she complimented him.

"Thank you, doctor, I have had ample opportunity to practice both with a variety of holographic partners and with Leo when our off-duty hours coincide."

"You know I think Leo is finding her way here remarkably well, with your help. I'm glad she was assigned to the Enterprise."

"As am I." He paused for a moment. "Beverly, may I share thoughts of a personal nature with you?"

Beverly sat at a flower-strewn table, and Data joined her. "Of course, Data. We've been friends a long time."

Data smiled in acknowledgment. "I believe you are aware, as a longtime friend, that from time to time I have considered the possibility of finding a mate. Someone to spend my life with, to share a mutual existence and concerns."

"I think maybe you've found that already, haven't you?"

"It would seem so. I had, however, never considered that my partner might be a human female, and thus someone who would find it necessary to adapt to my positronic nature. My perceived shortcomings as a life partner to such a person could be seen as considerable."

"You can't really believe that, Data. What you call 'shortcomings' the rest of us see as things that make you, well, _you_. They're characteristics that make you who you are, and it's who you are that makes you worth the friendships we all share with you. I doubt Leo would describe them as 'shortcomings'."

"You are correct. She does not. She describes them as analogous aspects of my nature that harmonize with her organic aspects, differing in definition only."

Beverly noticed a shadow of doubt on Data's face. "Don't you believe her?"

"I believe she sees our differences as harmonious because she wishes them to be so. When Leo speaks the words 'I love you', I answer 'I would love no other' because it is the only truthful answer I can offer. She says that is enough, that she feels that her love for me has been answered in kind."

"I get the feeling you don't agree."

"I believe Leo when she tells me she wants nothing I cannot offer. I know her nature. She would not lie to me. She cannot. But I cannot agree that what I am capable of is enough, that my 'analogous aspects' are capable of harmonizing fully with her human emotions. I wish to be able to offer Leo more than 'analogous aspects'."

"I imagine you've told her this."

"I have. She insists she is content and fulfilled in our personal relationship."

"Well Data isn't that what's important, in the end? No matter how it happens? Words of love are just words. They may sound sweet but anyone can say them, and they don't have to have an ounce of truth behind them. What you're doing, this struggle to honor Leo's devotion to you with devotion of your own, there's more truth behind that, more substance, than someone who comes by emotions easily. It's not just what you have to offer, Data, it's the _wanting_ that makes a difference."

Data sat in thoughtful silence for a moment or two before speaking. "But I am unable to love Leo. I am able to devote myself to her and to our life together, to treat her with kindness, to support her interests and share her concerns, to listen and offer advice, to express my devotion physically and in everyday behavior. But I will never be able to 'love' her as she loves me. How can a human believe that is enough?"

Beverly was smiling. "Data, Data, you've just described the kind of love that people wait their whole lives for. What does it matter what you call it?"

"That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet."

"Exactly."

"Thank you, Beverly. This has been most enlightening."

Beverly looked at him a bit suspiciously. "But you still don't agree, do you?"

"Not completely. But I will 'work on it'."

As they rose from the table Beverly asked, "Speaking of Leo, I haven't seen her in awhile. Did she leave?"

"I do not know. I am sure we will find one another before the evening is over."

Beverly shook her head and laughed quietly. "Someday I'll figure out what it is about weddings and funerals that turns us all into amateur philosophers and counselors."

"Rites of passage often trigger profound emotional responses in humans," Data observed entirely without irony.

"Uh-huh," Beverly noted with a knowing smirk, "_humans_. Of course." She left Data as Geordi beckoned her for a dance.

Beverly had been correct. Leo had not been noticed at the party for some time.

"We had a dance some time ago, Data, but I haven't seen her since," Captain Picard informed him. "Perhaps she stepped out for a bit of quiet."

Leo was fully hypnotized by the slowly drifting pinpoints of light when she felt Data standing close behind her, the pale image of his face reflected next to hers, rendered ghostly under the dim lights of the room where they stood.

"How many stars do you figure we can see from here?" she mused.

"That would depend upon classification, whether one included brightly lit moons in error," he would have continued but Leo breathed, "D…" as she leaned her head back slightly. He stopped himself.

"A 'humongous' number, I am certain."

Now she smiled. "You've gotten very good at 'course correction'," she observed. Data answered her smile in the glass with one of his own. The one that was only for her.

"Skill is often born of necessity. Why did you leave the party?"

"I dunno. Crowds make me edgy, even fun ones. I just needed some quiet, I guess."

"The captain suggested that might be the case."

"Sharp man, Jean-Luc." She saw Data's eyebrows rise.

"You have begun to address him by name?"

"He told me just for an hour or so. Official relaxation of protocol."

"That is an oxymoron."

"So are you."

"Smartass."

Without Data being fully aware of it his hands had crept slowly around Leo's waist, fingers progressing inch by inch along the soft fabric, sensing the warmth underneath, feeling the subtle expansion and contraction of each breath. She relaxed back against him.

"What do you feel when you do that? I mean aside from texture and temperature and all that."

"I feel you. All of you, as a whole being."

"One touch at a time."

"Yes."

"What happens when you've felt all of me, completely, whole?"

"That is not possible. Unlike me, you are never exactly the same from moment to moment."

"But what if you did? Would you just stop?"

Data tightened one arm around Leo and turned them sideways, raising his other hand so it was reflected in the glass, moving it as if to caress Leo's reflection with his own.

"I would start over from the beginning, and feel what had changed since I first began."

Leo closed her eyes to better feel both hands continue their tireless, gentle exploration.

"I wish I could do that, feel you completely one touch at a time. I just don't know how to be that aware." Leo turned in his arms and looked up into his face. He wore the contemplative look, the one that an android shouldn't be capable of.

"I will be aware for both of us."

She stretched up to kiss him. "I love you, D."

"And I would…" he hesitated and instead told her, "I wish I could love you, as well."

She kissed him once more and settled her head on his shoulder, staring sideways out at the "humongous" field of stars.

"That's okay. I'll feel it for both of us."


End file.
